I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
