And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's official drugs can't kill me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
