Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
