Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
