But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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