My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
