yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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