There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
sarcasm needs its own font
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
