You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
