O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
