Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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