the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Quick, to the slutcave!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
