Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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