i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
