Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
