They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
