I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize