some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize