I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
