ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You are the jesus of drinking
we're so committed to being not committed
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
