Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
