I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
