Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
