I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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