and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
