I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
