hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
