fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
