You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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