I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
