I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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