I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
