You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this beer tastes like vomit already
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Panties = found
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
