They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My vagina is very pro this idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
