I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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