i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
