Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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