it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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