He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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