please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
