Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I look better un-naked...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He? As in you personified your dick?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
