And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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