That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
this hospital has no fireball
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
