God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
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While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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