I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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