He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
