i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
