i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
