At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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