i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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