Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
