Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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