Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
