Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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