I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
