you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How does one acquire holy water?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
