I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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