How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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