Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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